Saturday, August 27, 2016

A little surprise....

A little surprise entered our lives in December of 2014. Our family was going through a lot. Many family issues plagued us. But in the end it made us a stronger family. There's no other way to say the surprise but to just say it.

I found out I was pregnant. Yes, I found out I was pregnant in December of 2014. After a family issue that caused me to realize my dreaded period was late.

When I brought the subject up to my amazing husband he was completely shocked that I could be pregnant. He concluded that my body was just under a lot of stress due to some health issues with our daughter, and that's why my period was late. After all I had the Essure procedure done in March of 2013, after our last child was born. So the thought I could actually be pregnant was hard to believe, but in reality it was true. My husband and I decided to wait out the month of November and wait till December to test.

The thought then left my mind within a few days. Life was going past us, and yet; inside my body unannounced to me there was a ball of dividing cells creating new life inside. Creating a child that would become a miracle. Life went on on the outside just as normal. Work, kids, bills, it's life, we all know how it goes and works.

Going into the month of December; again I realized my period was missing in action. So I again brought the subject back up to my husband. Who was shocked I brought the subject back up. His response?.... I thought you got your period? Really ? He was in complete utter shock. I waited till the next morning to test, too much going on the night before to test.

I walked in the bathroom that morning, put my little dollar store test on the counter and did my business. No need for gritty details there. Nervous, I was. I watched the test, I watched the test line appear, bright, bold. There it was on the test, 2 pink lines, indicating I was pregnant, with child. A life had formed inside of me. When I thought I could no longer do it.

Everything raced in our minds. What would we do? We were in no position to have another child. But the child was there growing inside of me.

The race was on to find out where this child was inside of me. Remember I had the Essure procedure done. And I will definitely write more on the logistics of that procedure in a later post. The following Monday I went to a local woman's center for an ultrasound to find out where this baby was inside of me. Unfortunately due to the Essure procedure they would not do the ultrasound of me and referred me to the emergency room. So, off I went. Made a few phones with little information to make sure the kids were taken care of while I would be there and my husband was at work. I stopped by my husbands work to talk to him, get support. Then I traveled to the hospital, checked in and waited...and waited...& unfortunately waited even more. Finally my name was called. We all know the emergency room routine.

When the ultrasound tech came in, they did their thing and finally I begged them, I couldn't wait any longer. I begged them to tell me, not to make me wait for the dr to analyze everything and then talk to me. She knew the pain in my eyes. She took a minute and thought, then proceeded to turn the screen towards me and smile. There's your baby hunnie, she said, perfect, happy and content right where he or she is supposed to be in your uterus. While she didn't tell me how far along I was, that's ok. I knew my baby was ok. The doctor finally came back to see me. She confirmed I was pregnant. She said I was about 10 weeks pregnant. 10 weeks, I thought. Oh my god, I really was pregnant. Everything made sense. Constant nausea, tiredness, everything your typical pregnancy comes with. The joys of pregnancy.

I called my husband to relay the news. He was shocked but happy. I was just waiting to be discharged. I wanted to be in my husbands arms more then ever. I needed his safe arms to wrap around me and tell me everything would be ok. That we would be ok. While we didn't know exactly what the future held for us; we knew it would involve one more precious child....

Sunday, April 3, 2016

How do you go on?

Since I have gotten the ability back to get this blog going again; I come back to the question "How do you go on" Just continue to pick up the pieces of life and keep going. Over everything that has happened, I don't know how to do it, I just wing it. Or how do you even explain everything that has happened. Well you have to start somewhere...

As I sit here in this bed alone and reflect on everything that has happened lately; I am so much stronger then I thought. My mother always taught me "God doesn't give you more then you can handle". I didn't realize how hard it is to verbalize the words in my mind right now.

What I can say is that as my family goes on, we have had a birth, a death, and a separation of a family. We have survived many "1st" since then; but the big 1 year that started all of these is fast approaching.

My heart is racing as well as my mind. Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was, or maybe I'm stronger then I really thought....

Monday, March 14, 2016

So Long Ago

Hopefully this blog will finally be back in business. WOW, I just looked at the last post and Wow, over a year ago. Back in March of 2014. So much has changed. While so much is very significant in life, It will take time to get it all out. We have had births, deaths, separations. While no details now in this particular post. Please keep on the look out for what has been going on.